


Goblet of Fire Snippet

by mac_jem



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 00:05:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6063169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mac_jem/pseuds/mac_jem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vernon Dursley has expounded to no end on the evil of sexual deviance. In his mind, anything other than the Puritan 'man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick' was a sin. Harry had vowed to do the exact opposite of anything Vernon said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goblet of Fire Snippet

**Author's Note:**

> This plot bunny woke my ass up at 3:30 in the morning and is in no way a complete story. 
> 
> Now that I have it written down, I'm off to hunt that little fucker down so I can have rabbit stew for lunch
> 
> Let me know if you want me to continue.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did, I'd have a much larger bank account and be much happier in my retirement.

**Double Potions was always a horrible experience, but these days it was nothing short of torture. Being shut in a dungeon for an hour and a half with Snape and the Slytherins, all of whom seemed determined to punish Harry as much as possible for daring to become school champion, was about the most unpleasant thing Harry could imagine. He had already struggled through one Friday’s worth, with Hermione sitting next to him intoning “ignore them, ignore them, ignore them” under her breath, and he couldn’t see why today should be any better.**

**When he and Hermione arrived at Snape’s dungeon after lunch, they found the Slytherins waiting outside, each and every one of them wearing a large badge on the front of his or her robes. For one wild moment Harry thought they were S.P.E.W. badges — then he saw that they all bore the same message, in luminous red letters that burnt brightly in the dimly lit underground passage:**

_**Support Cedric Diggory-** _

_**The REAL Hogwarts Champion!** _

**“Like them, Potter?” said Malfoy loudly as Harry approached. “And this isn’t all they do — look!”**

**He pressed his badge into his chest, and the message upon it vanished, to be replaced by another one, which glowed green:**

**_Potter Stinks!_ **

**The Slytherins howled with laughter. Each of them pressed their badges too, until the message _POTTER STINKS_ was shining brightly all around Harry. **

_-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Chapter Eighteen, 'The Weighing of the Wands'_

Harry blinked, twice, slowly. Then suddenly, he snapped his arm out, hooking his hand around the back of Malfoy's neck, and pulled him into a full, open-mouthed kiss that lasted a full two minutes.

Letting go and taking a step back, Harry looked Malfoy in the eye and, in a voice just loud enough to be heard by the Slytherins and his friends to hear, said, "Damn, Draco, has anyone ever told you that you've an utterly fuckable mouth? I would dearly love to feel those lips surrounding the base of my cock!" Then he caressed Malfoy's cheek and turned to enter the potions classroom

Malfoy, and the rest of the Slytherins for that matter, had been left standing in the hall, eyes opened wide, and jaws slack. Hermione wasn't much better off.

"Potter! What have you done this time!" Snape yelled as he came down from the front of the class.

"I paid a compliment to Malfoy. Is there something wrong with that?"

"We shall see." the potions master snarled, as he stalked into the hallway.

"Mr. Malfoy, what did Potter do to you?"

Hermione huffed in irritation and glared at Snape. Malfoy, for his part, stared straight ahead, seemingly not even noticing Snape was present.

After a moment, Snape turned his head. "Parkinson, what happened?"

"Sir, Scarhead kissed Draco, full on the mouth, and I could tell he used his tongue. Then he said something really disgusting to Draco."

"What did he say?"

"I'd really rather not repeat it, Sir, it was really disgusting."

"Just tell me what he said. Nobody is going to hold it against you."

"If you say so, Sir. He said, 'Damn, Draco, has anyone ever told you that you've an utterly fuckable mouth? I would dearly love to feel those lips surrounding the base of my cock!'"

Snape turned and stormed back into the classroom, the rest of the students silently gathering at the back of the room. "Potter!"

"What?"

"I'm going to see you expelled for this!"

"Oh, really. Well, good luck with that."

"What the hell do you mean by that, you arrogant little bastard?"

"I read the contract I was forced to sign. Then I went to the goblins at Gringott's for their interpretation. Then, just to cover all my bases, I took it to the hall of records at the Ministry."

"So what? You think that's going to save you?"

Ignoring Snape's remark, Harry continued, "Well, Snivellous, in the first place, the contract requires all participants in the contest to be 'of age'. I am now recognised as an adult by both the Ministry and Gringott's. That gives me the ability to call a blood feud on your family, or just call you out. Though, why I would bother with your putrid arse is beyond me.

"Second, the contract guarantees I will remain enrolled in school for the duration of the competition, and that I will pass all current classes with an outstanding, no matter what my actual grade.

"Third, the contract precludes any corporal punishments. I am not required to serve any detentions while I am a contestant in the tournament, as they may interfere if the contest. You may deduct as many points as you like, but that will likely just incite Gryffindor to plot your painful death, as they all hate you. It won't mean a thing to me as I really don't give a flying fuck about any of them. So, go ahead and give them a reason, I know for a fact that the twins are plotting to turn you inside-out.

"In short, you unmitigated bastard, since I will be transferring at the end of the year, you can't do a thing to me, so why don't you just fuck off, you useless piece of shite!"

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know I had Harry kissing Draco. 
> 
> So. What? 
> 
> Really, if you have a problem with a male/male relationship, you should just toddle off to your little Puritan fantasy world, 'cause, honey, you ain't livin' in the real world!
> 
> Conversely, if you have problems with a male/female relationship, you shouldn't be reading what I write.
> 
> I see myself as an equal opportunity fucker... I'll give consideration to anyone that wants to share my bed. I'm 80 years old, damnit! If I'm not allowed to pick who I fuck, who the hell is?


End file.
